Greetings to all from the risen Christ, 

We follow the risen Christ, but we are still in that time of waiting for the inevitable. We know that Calvary is coming, that the cross has to happen. One day they shouted, “Hosanna!”, and a few days later, “Crucify Him!” We have learned of the depth and breadth of God’s love through God’s actions on the cross. We also experienced that love now, in this moment. As I write and as you read, the love of God surrounds us both. Close your eyes and feel the breath of God blowing across your life. Become aware of the warmth of the Savior standing next to you. Be aware of the little things that God uses to feed your spirit and empower your faith. God is in us and through us and all around us. God is mystery and God is light. Picture in your mind that God made flesh and dwelling among us as Jesus of Nazareth is spending the last, few precious hours telling the world that we are loved and we are forgiven. There is nothing greater than this. Thursday evening we will talk briefly and then have communion together, remembering the last supper of our Lord. 

I just received word that Anna is being transferred from the hospital to a physical rehab facility.! This is the next step in her journey toward health. I am so grateful for your love and your support of my family. We would not have survived this without you. My love to all, Mary

Hello dear Church. And hello to all our wonderful friends and our extended family. It was so good to be back at church on Sunday. I needed the love and the joy of your singing, the sound of your voices, and the hugs I got. Thank you for allowing me space in this adventure. And thank you for your support and your love throughout this whole thing. I am overwhelmed and my family is overwhelmed by your love and support. This is what the Church looks like. This is what Jesus meant when he said to us to gather together. I love you and I will see you on Sunday.

Hello dearest church family,

I listened in on Sunday to Max’s sermon, not knowing that it was written to me! I am grateful for his honesty and for his compassion. And I am more than grateful for the reminders of what Paul said, “we are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed” (2Cor4:8-9) and “for our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So, we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal” (2Cor4:18).

I will write here, for all the world to see, what happened in my ordination interview. Please understand that I do not need or want to discuss any of this. I only want you to know what happened. I walked into the interview on March 4^th expecting it to be like my District Committee on Ministry interviews, collegial and supportive. The trouble with that expectation is that the Board of Ordained Ministry interview is not designed for that purpose. The BOM interview is an examination of the quality and character of the individual applying for ordination. It is an intense review of one’s understanding of theology, of United Methodist doctrine and polity, and of the sacred sacraments of baptism and communion. There are other questions as well, but I will admit to you that these are the areas where I struggled. To be completely transparent with you, they asked the questions, and I gave answers that did not meet the standards of a person seeking ordination. I did not adequately prepare myself for the situation. I have been out of school for 6 years and even though I have spent much time preparing for this single interview, I was not ready for it. No excuses either. I had many folks offering to help me, and I did not ask for help from any of them. 

My journey to ordination is complicated. It is taking longer than I wanted and, at times, seems like torture. My dear friend and colleague Cantrice Robinson asked me that very evening, “is it fair to put a time limit on God?” She did not know at that moment of the outcome of my ordination interview. But she knows that heart of God. She knows that God’s time is not our time. She knows that God’s steps are not measured in human understanding. Reverend Cantrice Robinson reminded me that I am not called to the UMC, I am called to share the gospel of the risen Christ to a world that is dying. Today I have hope. Tomorrow is another day, and I will try to have this same hope again tomorrow.

When you see me Sunday, do not feel pity for me. I actually would like to forget this entire thing, except for the part where I work harder to be ready for whatever God has in store for me. I do not want to discuss any of it. I want you to know that my commitment to St. Matthew has not wavered in the least. We will wait together for that time when General Conference makes their decisions about the service of LGBTQ persons within the UMC framework. Until then, we do not have anything to do except love God, love our neighbors and love each other. 

I look forward to seeing you this weekend. I missed you, Mary

Good Wednesday to you!

Anna is holding her own in the ICU at Fort Worth Harris Methodist Hospital. I am overwhelmed by the love and support shown to us. You are all angels on earth and I am grateful for those of you who sit in the sacred space of healing with Anna, and for those of you who hold us in prayer. I cannot imagine being anywhere else but with you at this moment.

I will admit to you that I have not ever had to write a newsletter article as difficult as this one is to write.

The Central Texas Conference Board of Ordained Ministry decided that I needed another year of “learning and training” before I could be commissioned as a provisional elder. I was in shock when I heard their verdict and I am still in shock as I update you. “I am profoundly disappointed” is about all that I can muster right now in the way of communication about the entire thing. I was not prepared that this might be the outcome. I am so sorry.

I am taking some time away from ordination work to discern what God has next for me. General Conference is in April and the issues of human sexuality are being discussed. The conference will then vote on the worthiness of the lives of LGBTQ persons as they relate to ordained ministry in a United Methodist context. I will not make any decisions until after that vote. I have not yet spoken to the District Superintendent so I do not know what is next for me. I am appointed to serve this church and will continue in my current role as Associate Pastor at Saint Matthew. As I said previously, I cannot imagine being anywhere else but with all of you.

Hello dear St. Matthew,

Just a quick note to tell you how very much I love you and appreciate the many ways you take care of me and my family. Anna is still in critical condition but is slowly improving. I am grateful for your prayers and support. Tyler has gone back to work and stays with her at night. Anna’s parents are helping every day, and we have the help of many special angels to fill in the gaps.

Great news to share on the shoe front: We have received pledges for 35 pairs of shoes for Blake’s Western Hills Choir. We even have enough funds to purchase socks!  Blessings to you for responding so quickly. I know Blake asked for used black shoes and we are getting them new ones instead. However, East Side Ministry always needs used shoes. If you still want to bring them to the church, we can get them to where they are needed most.

Blessings to you during this week of crazy weather. When this is published on Wednesday morning, them temp will have dropped 20+ degrees from what it is as I write. Summer AND winter in February.

Love to all, Mary