Hello dearest church family,

I listened in on Sunday to Max’s sermon, not knowing that it was written to me! I am grateful for his honesty and for his compassion. And I am more than grateful for the reminders of what Paul said, “we are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed” (2Cor4:8-9) and “for our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So, we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal” (2Cor4:18).

I will write here, for all the world to see, what happened in my ordination interview. Please understand that I do not need or want to discuss any of this. I only want you to know what happened. I walked into the interview on March 4^th expecting it to be like my District Committee on Ministry interviews, collegial and supportive. The trouble with that expectation is that the Board of Ordained Ministry interview is not designed for that purpose. The BOM interview is an examination of the quality and character of the individual applying for ordination. It is an intense review of one’s understanding of theology, of United Methodist doctrine and polity, and of the sacred sacraments of baptism and communion. There are other questions as well, but I will admit to you that these are the areas where I struggled. To be completely transparent with you, they asked the questions, and I gave answers that did not meet the standards of a person seeking ordination. I did not adequately prepare myself for the situation. I have been out of school for 6 years and even though I have spent much time preparing for this single interview, I was not ready for it. No excuses either. I had many folks offering to help me, and I did not ask for help from any of them. 

My journey to ordination is complicated. It is taking longer than I wanted and, at times, seems like torture. My dear friend and colleague Cantrice Robinson asked me that very evening, “is it fair to put a time limit on God?” She did not know at that moment of the outcome of my ordination interview. But she knows that heart of God. She knows that God’s time is not our time. She knows that God’s steps are not measured in human understanding. Reverend Cantrice Robinson reminded me that I am not called to the UMC, I am called to share the gospel of the risen Christ to a world that is dying. Today I have hope. Tomorrow is another day, and I will try to have this same hope again tomorrow.

When you see me Sunday, do not feel pity for me. I actually would like to forget this entire thing, except for the part where I work harder to be ready for whatever God has in store for me. I do not want to discuss any of it. I want you to know that my commitment to St. Matthew has not wavered in the least. We will wait together for that time when General Conference makes their decisions about the service of LGBTQ persons within the UMC framework. Until then, we do not have anything to do except love God, love our neighbors and love each other. 

I look forward to seeing you this weekend. I missed you, Mary

Good Wednesday to you!

Anna is holding her own in the ICU at Fort Worth Harris Methodist Hospital. I am overwhelmed by the love and support shown to us. You are all angels on earth and I am grateful for those of you who sit in the sacred space of healing with Anna, and for those of you who hold us in prayer. I cannot imagine being anywhere else but with you at this moment.

I will admit to you that I have not ever had to write a newsletter article as difficult as this one is to write.

The Central Texas Conference Board of Ordained Ministry decided that I needed another year of “learning and training” before I could be commissioned as a provisional elder. I was in shock when I heard their verdict and I am still in shock as I update you. “I am profoundly disappointed” is about all that I can muster right now in the way of communication about the entire thing. I was not prepared that this might be the outcome. I am so sorry.

I am taking some time away from ordination work to discern what God has next for me. General Conference is in April and the issues of human sexuality are being discussed. The conference will then vote on the worthiness of the lives of LGBTQ persons as they relate to ordained ministry in a United Methodist context. I will not make any decisions until after that vote. I have not yet spoken to the District Superintendent so I do not know what is next for me. I am appointed to serve this church and will continue in my current role as Associate Pastor at Saint Matthew. As I said previously, I cannot imagine being anywhere else but with all of you.

Hello dear St. Matthew,

Just a quick note to tell you how very much I love you and appreciate the many ways you take care of me and my family. Anna is still in critical condition but is slowly improving. I am grateful for your prayers and support. Tyler has gone back to work and stays with her at night. Anna’s parents are helping every day, and we have the help of many special angels to fill in the gaps.

Great news to share on the shoe front: We have received pledges for 35 pairs of shoes for Blake’s Western Hills Choir. We even have enough funds to purchase socks!  Blessings to you for responding so quickly. I know Blake asked for used black shoes and we are getting them new ones instead. However, East Side Ministry always needs used shoes. If you still want to bring them to the church, we can get them to where they are needed most.

Blessings to you during this week of crazy weather. When this is published on Wednesday morning, them temp will have dropped 20+ degrees from what it is as I write. Summer AND winter in February.

Love to all, Mary

I am so grateful to the 16 people who promised to sponsor at least one pair of shoes for the Western Hills choir. We so far have received enough pledges to buy 35 pairs of shoes. What we can do now is get the 30 pairs plus buy new socks plus have a little bit left over for the expenses of the choir concert and the travel and the meals. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Your generosity overwhelms me. We are so blessed to live in this community of believers at this time in our lives. My love to you all Mary.

Greetings in the name of the Risen Christ, 

I listened to the service from Sunday as I always do so that I can continually critique and improve my ministry. Ironically, my sermon about scripture did not include me reading the text that was the foundational passage for the sermon. 2Tim 3: 14-17 says,

“Yet you must go on steadily in all those things that you have learned and which you know are true. Remember from what sort of people your knowledge has come, and how from early childhood your mind has been familiar with the holy scriptures, which can open the mind to the salvation which comes through believing in Christ Jesus. All scripture is inspired by God and is useful for teaching the faith and correcting error, for re-setting the direction of a man’s life and training him in good living. The scriptures are the comprehensive equipment of the man of God and fit him fully for all branches of his work.”

(JB Phillips Interpretation)

This is the starting block for any rational discussion about sacred text. The other very important scripture is 2Peter 1: 20-21,

“But you must understand this at the outset, that no prophecy of scripture arose from an individual’s interpretation of the truth. No prophecy came because a man wanted it to: men of God spoke because they were inspired by the Holy Spirit.”

(JB Phillips interpretation)

These passages are the result of Paul and Peter instructing the followers of Jesus Christ about what to do in the presence of false prophets. They have also been used, out of context, to refute any argument about the accuracy of scripture. We serve a God who loves us and forgives us and who does everything to be with us. At the same time, we have sanctified a book that doesn’t proclaim this simplicity of the Gospel in all of its passages. We have to read it, to dive deeply into its history and ours, and we have to question it at every turn: “Is what I am reading the true picture of the Christ?”

Anna is holding her own at the hospital. She is still critical, still fighting an overwhelming infection in her blood, lungs, and spine. God is watching over us and the care we are receiving is first-rate. I depend on the strength I receive from your prayers and love for me and my children. There are no words to adequately describe my gratitude.

Blessings, Mary